I finally got there.  I got to the place that I remember relaxed dads of my childhood.  I was upset about all the strife and confusion that goes on in this house.  In the end, all the kids go to bed or are all happy enough and then drop off.  Sure all that insanity is coming back when they wake up, but here, in the eddy of their needs is where the dad lives.  It's always that same eddy, and it is never going away.  It is in my back pocket.  Always.  It may not be around the next bend or the next, but it's coming along.  Every day, the eddy is there and I can float on my back, just carried in this crazy circle, around and around and around, day, after day , after day.

The idea, I've realized is that they either bore of you or fall asleep.  In that time, you have time to reflect, prepare and redirect.  It's a nice place to be.